This Pagan House

It’s muggy today. The first day in weeks that held even the promise–however false–of rain. We, the Hill Country, need rain. Desperately. Wildfires have cropped up in fields, in residential areas. Like it’s July when the land even looks combustible. But it’s only April, when life is supposed to be verdant and wet. But it’s already dry and windy and hot.

I didn’t really want to strike a tone of gloom on the first real blog post, but where I sit looks out on my vegetable garden and even after watering yesterday I can see the tomatoes drooping. So, add to the to-do list: lug the hose out and give the veggies a good drink.

Which brings us to what I really want to write about today–nurturing, tending, care of. They are traits? abilities? that I’ve lacked pretty much my whole life. I’m a starter. The ideas person. I start things (blogs, stories, gardens, projects of any sort) with great vision, but I’m pretty terrible about following through. I love to dabble. Jack of all trades, master of none? That’s me. And it’s something that I didn’t really mind about myself until I discovered I was pregnant last year, and I thought, “Well. This is a project you have to finish!”

Since then, I finished the first draft of my first novel. Something I never thought would happen. I also have started to successfully lose weight, in a healthy, slow, delicious manner. Neither of those things have been easy, but along with other small successes I’m beginning to learn dedication, perseverance, even devotion.

I’ve also begun to learn that finishing things–birthing them into creation and then nurturing them–is the basis of keeping a good home, whether physical or spiritual. And that’s the next step that I’m learning to take.

My previous pagan/spiritual blog, The Wandering Found, was something I began when I didn’t even know I was a pagan yet. I was curious, and I dabbled toe-in-toe-out style for a long, long time. But then…sometime last summer…I just knew. I was a p/Pagan. I didn’t (don’t) know what “kind” yet, but I am at home in that label. Now, after a fallow period, it’s time to nurture and tend it.

Why the Pagan label? Well…a few reasons. I know that people debate fiercely on if Pagan is even a real organizing principle, what it all means, etc. What I mean when I call myself Pagan is that I allow and make space for the mysterious in my life. I delve into some mystery practices like Tarot reading, meditation, and I’m beginning some magic work. I am beginning to learn how to reach out to gods(esses). I’m searching for a right way to live and conduct my life that enhances my family, my community and the environment around me.

So there it is! The slightly gloomy first post (sorry…I promise next time to have garden pictures or silly things…!). As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated 🙂

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