So, my previous post was about an award that was shared with me. When I saw that Thalassa had put that in my comments I grinned! I smiled! Someone reads my blog and likes it! It was so gratifying to receive it, and kind of her to share it with me.
The second step was trying to put together a post in which I shared the award with 7 others. I hemmed and hawed. Clicked on several blogs that I read often. Thought about how much I loved their blog, but how…man, I’d have to talk to them, right? Connect with them. Let them know that I hold their blogs and writings in esteem. I put it on the back-burner for a few days because…well…I was afraid. Afraid of what? Telling people I liked them? Letting them know that I admire their work? Beginning, perhaps, a relationship with the when I usually lurk in comfortable anonymity?
How silly. How human [in this age].
And this is why I’m still a solitary practitioner, let’s be honest. It’s not some high-minded philosophy about why solitary craft is better, it’s because I’m afraid of connection, in particular, with the pagan community. It’s not like the potential isn’t there–it’s everywhere, on the Internet, at Ancient Mysteries (our metaphysical store), on Meetup.com.
Why? I don’t know. It’s dumb. And it’s keeping me alone for Sabbats and etc., when I want to be with people who believe like I do, and have a good time, and talk, and share life with them.
Anyway, just something to think about on a Tuesday afternoon (during tea!). Why fear being…nice…to people? And maybe have them being nice in return?